me:oh, i'm such a good child. i don't smoke, i don't drink and i don't do drugs. i don't sneak out to go partying. my grades are quite good. when i compare myself to those in my class..wow, i'm almost a role model. my parents must be so proud of me!
mom:WHY DON'T I EVER SEE YOU STUDY? ALL YOU DO IS SIT ON THE INTERNET! YOU SHOULD LOOK AT OTHER STUDENTS! YOU DON'T EVEN HELP ME WITH ANYTHING! NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE CARES ABOUT HOW MUCH I HAVE TO DO! NONE OF YOU HELP ME! YOU ARE ALL SO UNGRATEFUL!
Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
Every sentence must do one of two things — reveal character or advance the action.
Start as close to the end as possible.
Be a sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them — in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To heck with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.
— Vonnegut, Kurt Vonnegut, Bagombo Snuff Box: Uncollected Short Fiction (New York: G.P. Putnam’s Sons 1999), 9-10.
i just licked it and tastes like fucking plastic plz gamer girls have some sense guys wont like you because yer licking a controller they will think youre hungry and think wow ill never play with her she will eat my x box
“It’s Okay to be Neither,” By Melissa Bollow Tempel
Alie arrived at our 1st-grade classroom wearing a sweatshirt with a hood. I asked her to take off her hood, and she refused. I thought she was just being difficult and ignored it. After breakfast we got…